ATF: Dapper Dan
by retirw
Summary: Chris gets an office memo.


This is just a ATF in the office snippet. Some day it may make it's way into a longer story. For now, well it got lonely.

They don't belong to me. I make no money off them.

DAPPER DAN

_Everybody is healthy. The team is coming together. Now to catch up on the damn paper work. _Chris sat in his office relaxing. The boys were resting up. They had just enough to do to keep them from becoming to bored.

_Who's the idiot that wrote this thing? _Chris glared at an office memo. _Appropriate dress for ATF agents. I should have know Dapper Dan. _Since no one could see him, Chris allowed his face to break into a wicked grin. _I'll send Ezra and Vin to talk to him. Us poorly dressed embarrassments to the badge need better guidelines on what's appropriate. _

"Ezra, Vin step in here for a minute," Chris called for the pair. Cat calls from the rest of the team were followed by questions about what they had done now.

"Yes, Mr. Larabee, Yeah Chris," the pair answered from the door. Looking in they exchanged concerned glances. The wicked glint in Chris' eyes was not comforting.

"I need you to get further classification on this for me," Chris handed Ezra the memo. "Handle it in the appropriate manner Mr. Standish," Chris' eyes twinkled.

"Team 7 show's a lack of style and class in their dress," Ezra snarled. "Daniel Costner? Where might I find this paragon of etiquette?" Ezra smirked. Vin's eyes lit up with a wicked glint.

"Ez we need to talk," Vin grinned. "Chris don't ask," Vin warned.

77777777

The next morning the team was shocked when Vin walked in. He was wearing a perfectly tailored dark blue silk double-breasted suit. The blue of his shirt matched his eyes. The tie was elegant and stylish. On close examination the pattern on the tie was tiny little loony tune figures. His hair was brushed neatly and restrained by a silver clasp shaped like a falcon. For once the scruffy whiskers were shaven.

"Wow!" Buck exclaimed walking around the sharpshooter. "My, My want ta go out Friday night you handsome devil?" Buck crooned leaning in to whisper softly in Vin's ear.

"Bucklin, I'd be delighted," Vin growled in a raspy whisper. Vin leaned against the older man running his finger tips over Buck's cheek. Buck stepped back quickly frowning

"Junior is there something you need to tell me?"

"Yah are buyin', right?" Vin smirked as the rest of the men chortled at Buck's dumbfounded look.

Ezra sauntered in needing a shave wearing ragged jeans and a T-shirt. Josiah's rumbling laughter filled the room. JD smirked as he read the paint spattered shirt. Ezra grinned unrepentantly.

I'm Multi-Talented

I Can Talk

And

Piss You Off

at the

Same Time

"Going slumming?" Nathan asked the scruffy looking con man.

"I have an appointment with Mr. Costner," Ezra explained.

"Your going to see Dapper dressed like that?" Nathan choked.

"Certainly, I hope he will approve. My apparel was not satisfactory according to the esteemed Mr. Costner," Ezra responded with a wicked grin. Two hours later the smirking pair entered Team 7's office.

"Mr. Standish, I feel that our meeting went rather well," Vin drawled as he sauntered in.

"Vin get your ass out of that suit before you pick up any more bad habits," Larabee growled.

"Mr. Larabee it is unnecessary to act in such an uncouth manner," Vin huffed gently. Ezra slouched over to his chair and whipped out a strand of jerky that he chewed on as he booted his computer. Amused looks passed among the men.

"Ez, are you all right?" Buck asked softly.

"Yep" Ezra drawled. Chris gave the take down sign and the rest of the team jumped the pair. The two men were quickly subdued. Chris rapidly stripped the coat and tie from Vin's body. Nathan removed Ezra's shirt while Josiah held him. JD rushed forward with a T-shirt for Vin. While Buck helped Nathan get Ezra into a silk dress shirt. Ezra stood and carefully buttoned his shirt.

"Thank you for your assistance that was quite frightening. I almost Vinned," he murmured. Vin took a deep breath and stretched.

"Be back I'se gonna find mah jeans," Vin smirked. Ezra followed Vin out. Soon they returned. Ezra was properly garbed in a classy suit, shirt and tie. Vin returned in faded jeans, his worn cowboy boots and a open denim shirt over a printed T.

"Are you and Ez shopping the same place these days?" Buck grinned nodding at the message on the shirt.

Don't bother me!

I'm running out

of places to hide

the bodies!

"I received a message from Daniel D. Costner," Chris smiled from his office door. "The dress code for Team 7 is being left to our discretion," he reported. "Gentlemen what did you do?" Larabee pinned the two miscreants in place with a glare.

"We simply presented Mr. Costner with a rendering of our clothing allowance. **Code 17 Article 11 states:** A uniform allowance to cover the cost of no more than 7 nor less then 5 full changes. If it is determined that a required manner of dress is necessary for the pursuance of a particular position," Ezra recited.

"What does that mean?" JD asked.

"If Dapper said we had ta dress up and he ordered it then he was gonna have ta pay fer at least 5 suits and all fer each of us," Vin snickered.

"I'll be damned," Chris whispered.

"Mr. Tanner and myself have documented contact allergies. Thereby it would be necessary to procure special accouterments for us," Ezra bamboozled.

"Those contact allergies of yours," Nathan nodded and smiled.

"They's gonna have ta buy suits made outta natural fibers fer the pair of us," Vin translated.

"Boils down ta the ATF was gonna have ta buy suits that's each worth more'n my Jeep," Vin drawled.

"The trump card was my documenting the loss of 2 suits this year so far," Ezra gloated.


End file.
